Simile by Dennis Lange

 

                          Simile

Like spring to the rise of dead the last day;
Like fortunes to snow that just melts away;
Like eclipse to eyes that close with a blink;
Like bridges to thoughts to join as a link,
Like this and like that, we so like to say.

As life to eggs; fragile, handle with care;
As Ming to honor, exceedingly rare;
As hawk to hunter who circles his prey;
As talk to hot air that just goes away;
As this and as that – how quick we compare!

Thus, simile combines for clarity,
Two things that have a semblance rarity.

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© Dennis Lange and thebardonthehill.wordpress.com, 2012.

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I’ll Read by Dennis Lange

Hemingway’s writing desk (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Since WordPress changed the way new posts are displayed in the poetry section, I no longer read very many poems on blogs I’m not subscribed to.  And I’m about maxed out on subscribing to blogs.  So, if I’m not reading your blog regularly and you come along and read my poems, this is for you.   If you have a poem you’re pleased with and would like me to read it, leave a comment on my blog and link to that poem.   You do need to know that I like traditional poetry – rhythm and rhyme.  I’m looking forward to reading some good poems!

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The Writing of a Poem by Dennis Lange

Image via Wikipedia

The following is an account of the process of writing the poem “The Front Page of the Purple Sage”:

Day 1 (1:30 on a day late in September, 2011) – While driving into town to eat lunch and make a few other stops, I saw the sage blooming beside the road.  We have had three rains in the last three weeks and it bloomed because of the rain.  My mind went to work on a poem, and I searched for an appropriate word or metaphor for the sage.  “Harbinger” went through my mind, but that refers to something running before the event.  What I needed was something that announced an event that had already occurred.  That’s the newspaper.  On the small yellow pad I keep on the car seat beside me, I wrote, “The front page of the Purple Sage”.
     I ate lunch at KFC: a grilled chicken breast, mashed potatoes, green beans, a roll, and drank ice water instead of my coke.  This was during the time between my two gallbladder attacks and my gallbladder being taken out.  So, I avoided my normal fried potato wedges and the double down which has cheese on it.  (see my gallbladder poem here:  http://thebardonthehill.wordpress.com/2011/10/07/the-divorce-is-final-by-dennis-lange/ )

     While sitting at my table, I wrote some thoughts.  Here’s what I had when I finished eating and walked out of KFC:
     The front page of The Purple Sage
     In headlines lavender
     Declares with blossoms the good news

     An editor with greatest flair.

Day 2 – I reread the above lines and had a thought.
     Reports (declares) with blossoms the good news.
     Reports is a better word, in keeping with my metaphor.  I’ve left (declares) in that  manner, in case I change my mind.  Sometimes I write the choices like this:
     Reports with blossoms the good news.     (Declares)

     An editor with greatest flair

     The front page of The Purple Sage,
        In headlines lavender,
     Reports with blossoms the good news    (Declares)

Day 3 – I reread the lines above and decided to make a list of rhymes for lavender.  First, I’ll do a search online.  As expected, I didn’t find any perfect ones.  My choices now are to (1) use a rhyme of one or two syllables,  (2) rearrange the wording of the line so that lavender isn’t the last word, (3) find a synonym for lavender, or (4) rework the word lavender into a line that won’t need a rhyme, such as the 1st or 3rd in the stanza.  And, as I’m thinking about all that, I’m wondering if there isn’t a better way to start the poem.  Aren’t both the first and second above, jumping into the situation too quickly, without explanation.  Also, I like the thought of using the 2nd line above as part of the concluding stanza.

     And, as I look at the words, I see “editor” and “lavender” as possible rhymes.  Lavish popped into my mind from “lavender”.   With lavish editor

The front page of The Purple Sage,
With lavish editor,
Reports with blossoms the good news,
In headlines lavender.

And then, following that (replacing the period above with a comma):

That rain has fallen on the land
That life has sprung anew     (bloomed)

I look at the last two and would like to have a simile soon or even replace the second line with a simile.  I’m also looking back at the six lines for alliteration.

Day 4 –
The front page of The Purple Sage
With lavish editor,
Reports with blossoms the good news,
In headlines lavender,

That rain has fallen on the land
That life has bloomed anew   (sprung)
As I looked at all that from the perspective that the poem would begin with the first four, I didn’t like what I had written.  The first four above need to be the last four.

Another thought:
One traveling thru
what’s new

I’m going to research the gap between rain and the blooming of the sage.

Day 5 – Sage will bloom three days after a rain.  I took a picture of my neighbor’s sage.

Day 6 – If the first 4 remain there, more detail needed in the next.

The front page of The Purple Sage,
With lavish editor,
Reports with blossoms the good news,
In headlines lavender.

A blossom for each drop of rain;
Its beauty for the bow;
Glad earth’s salute for quenched thirst     thirst relieved,
For heaven’s gentle flow.

It looks like I’ll abandon two partial lines from day 4.  Question: Do I speak of people blooming because of the rain or an individual blooming, just needing a tiny start?
        
Day 7

The front page of The Purple Sage,
With lavish editor,
Reports with blossoms the good news,
In headlines lavender.

A flower for each drop of rain;
Its beauty for the bow;
Glad earth’s salute for thirst relieved,
For heaven’s gentle flow.

Day 8  I decided to detail the relation of rain and blooming sage, begin with that, and finish with what I have above. 

Three days ago, the falling rain
Gave life to limb and root
And now the sage bursts forth in song,
Enriched by heaven’s loot.

A flower for each drop of rain;
Its beauty for the bow;
Glad earth’s salute for thirst relieved,
For heaven’s gentle flow.

Thus, front page of The Purple Sage,
With lavish editor,
Reports with blossoms the good news,
In headlines lavender.

I’ve reversed the order of the two original stanzas and I’ve changed one word in the first line of the last stanza to make the transition from the second to the third.  I don’t like the repetition of “heaven’s” in stanzas one and two.  I need to keep it in stanza two to maintain the contrast between earth and heaven.

Three days ago, the falling rain
Gave life to limb and root.
And now the sage bursts forth in song,
Enriched by liquid loot.

A flower for each drop of rain;
Its beauty for the bow;
Glad earth’s salute for thirst relieved,
For heaven’s gentle flow.

Thus, front page of The Purple Sage,
With lavish editor,
Reports with blossoms the good news,
In headlines lavender.

By changing “heaven’s loot” to “liquid loot”, I’ve not only gotten rid of the repetition but have added alliteration by my choice of “liquid”. 

Finis!  (The finished product is the last version above and can also be found here, with a picture of sage blooming: http://thebardonthehill.wordpress.com/2011/12/08/the-front-page-of-the-purple-sage-by-dennis-lange/ )

Summary and afterthoughts: Eight days to write 12 lines?!!!  I wrote the 66 line “The Macaw” ( http://thebardonthehill.wordpress.com/2011/11/18/the-macaw-by-dennis-allen-lange/ ) in three hours one night and some revisions the next.  And, I’ve written other poems in a single night.  There were two hang-ups with “The Front Page of the Purple Sage”.  One was the decision I made to chronicle the writing of the poem.  That proved to be a distraction for about half the days until I began to first concentrate on the verses each night and summarize the process afterward.  Before I did that, I’d work on the poem a bit, write the process, work on the poem….  That didn’t work.  The other snag was my inability to decide where the first lines should go – first or last, and what would build around it.  And, my work on most of those eight days was about 15 minutes at the most, often less than even that.

Second, I notice that I didn’t mention any attention to, or struggle with, meter.  In most cases where I’m writing a poem with stanzas of four lines, alternating 4 iambic feet and 3 iambic feet, the meter is almost automatic.

I decided months before I actually did it, to write the process of writing a poem, thinking it might be interesting for other poets to compare with.  I also thought it might be of benefit to those who haven’t settled on their own methods yet and might find something beneficial in the way I approached the writing of this poem.   

Thanks for reading.

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© Dennis Lange and thebardonthehill.wordpress.com, 2011.

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Reading Poetry To Write Poetry by Dennis Lange

Image via Wikipedia

     A person must read poetry to write poetry. 

     If there’s an exception to the rule, it would be the Great Iamb, William Shakespeare.  Who would he have read anyway?  Would his meat have been Bacon or Ox?  (Francis Bacon or Edward de Vere – Earl of Oxford).  Or would reading Christopher Marlowe have given him a high?  Oh, but some say one of those WROTE Shakespeare!  Well, that’s another story….

     Except for the Bard of Avon, one must read poetry to write poetry.

     I wrote poems in very sporadic spurts until a few years ago.  Then, because I was reading some poetry in connection with literary criticism material I was writing, I decided to set aside each Sunday night after 8:00 to write verse.  When I started, I often found it difficult to write.  So, I thought, “I’ll read poetry.  I’m not writing any tonight, but at least I’ll be spending this set-aside time reading it.”  I found that when I read, it became easier to write.
 
     The sheer volume of Shakespeare’s enduring work means much of it came with relative ease.  He must have talked in iamb, must have thought in iamb.  He was “in the zone” and the lines flowed.  Reading poetry helps one get into the mood and, more importantly, to begin rocking in tune with rhymes and rhythms.  When you get off the cruise ship after a week at sea, you continue rolling with the ocean for a few days even though you’re then on solid ground.  So it is with reading poetry.  The rolling continues after the reading is done.

     There are other benefits to reading poetry.  I’ve gotten a number of ideas for new poems simply by reading poems in books or here on WordPress.  Here’s a whimsical example and an explanation of how the idea came about:

http://thebardonthehill.wordpress.com/2011/06/11/leave-peas-at-peace-please-by-dennis-lange/

     Sometimes I read and find an exceptionally apt metaphor or simile that I want to explore.  In my poetry note file, I type in the line(s) I’ve read with a reminder that it’s an exact quote, so I don’t later think the line is one that popped into my head.

     Not too long ago, Maggie Mendus posted a poem about poetry punctuation:

http://maggiemendus.wordpress.com/2011/10/13/how-to-write/

     I realized, as I read it, that I had learned to punctuate poetry by reading poetry.  I learned the hard way, sometimes reading a poem and leaving the poet behind at his stop light.  When I did, the words came at me like ongoing traffic, leaving me in confusion.  I backtracked and found a period or a semicolon.  Sometimes I rushed through a yield sign without looking and paid the price of misunderstanding.  I came to recognize the value the great poets put on punctuation as a necessary part of their poems.
        
     I’m reading more poetry than ever.  After beginning my blog, I shifted gears and I now write poetry every night after 8:00.  I skim through WordPress poetry almost every day.  See “Pledge to Poets” :   

http://thebardonthehill.wordpress.com/pledge-to-poets/ 

     Since I post about fifteen poems a month by other poets, poems in the public domain, I read a great deal of poetry in order to find those poems.  I also reread poems I’ve written lately.  I’m not as familiar with those and I sometimes want to be reassured that I still think they’re acceptable.  I see a title and can’t remember what the poem was!  I even go through my poetry file on the computer and read all my poems in the first column – the A’s and B’s.  A night or two later, I may read the second column.

     What kind of poetry should you read?  Good poetry, of course!  Read the kind of poetry you want to write.  If you want to write sonnets, read sonnets like Shakespeare’s, or others.  If you want to write limericks, read limericks.  Find a collection of “Best Loved Poems”.  Find blogs whose poetry you like and subscribe.  Immerse yourself.

     You must read poetry to write poetry. 

     Read!

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© Dennis Lange and thebardonthehill.wordpress.com, 2011.

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Their Eyes Poem by ZNH

(Please read the following lines and then my comments that follow – the bard)

Ships at a distance
Have every man’s wish on board.
For some,
         they come in with the tide.
For others
         they sail forever on the horizon,
             never out of sight,
             never landing
         until
             the Watcher turns his eyes
                     away in resignation,
             his dreams mocked to death
                            by Time.
That is the life of men.

Now, women forget all those things
they don’t want to remember,
   and remember
   everything they don’t want to forget.
The dream is the truth.

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The above is not a poem at all.  It is the first two paragraphs (minus one sentence) of a work of fiction (PROSE!) by Zora Neale Hurston.  The book is entitled Their Eyes Were Watching God (HarperPerennial, 1990).  I divided the sentences into lines.  That doesn’t make it poetry.  I did some spacing in the lines.  That doesn’t make it poetry.  Hurston’s work didn’t make the claim.  I could have picked up any book and taken the first two paragraphs, doing something similar.  That doesn’t change prose into poetry.  Just as there is no such thing as dogcat or catdog, there is no such thing as prose poetry.  The world has been sickened and turned off by modern poetry which simply pretends to be something it is not.  The last umpteen so-called poems I’ve read in a major newspaper I read (one per Sunday chosen by someone with “credentials”) are simply TRASH!   Only the pp’s and the critics pat each other on the back about such junk.  I am so tired of reading prose that claims to be poetry.  I do not want to read it here (WordPress).  I do not want to read it there.  I do not want to read it anywhere (Dr. Seus).  That’s my rant for the day.  I would say that it was cathartic to get it out of my system but it’s not out.   The cure is not to be found in me, but in the cleansing of the earth of every single pp.  Fahrenheit 451.

Here’s a link to a villanelle posted earlier about this same subject.  Many of you have already read it.  I post it for those who haven’t (or for those who would like to read it again):

http://thebardonthehill.wordpress.com/2011/09/28/the-emperor-poem-by-dennis-lange/

© Dennis Lange and thebardonthehill.wordpress.com, 2011.

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My Pledge To Other WordPress Poets

As a fellow WordPress poet, I will support you by:

1. Reading your poetry whenever I can.  Part of my routine is to click on the WordPress page for poetry in my favorites bar. http://en.wordpress.com/tag/poetry/
I then begin reading what’s been posted.  If I like the poem at all, I click and go to the blog site and read it.  I go through 5 pages of the WordPress poetry posts whenever I can.  I’ve gone through 10 pages on numerous occasions.

2. When I read your poetry, I may enjoy the entire poem.  Or, I may only see one line or phrase I like.  But, I’m looking for something so I can press “like” when I’ve finished.

3. When I read your poem and like it, I will leave a comment when I have time and feel that I have something to say.

4. When your poetry is my kind of poetry (you write what I like), I will subscribe to your blog.

5. When I’ve subscribed to your blog, I will read each poem for which I receive notification.  And, even if the entire poem should show up within the email, I will click on the link to give your blog a hit.

6. Occasionally, I will go to a blog site I like and look through your archives, hoping to find poems I’ve not yet read that I will enjoy.

7. When I read one of your poems for the first time and like it, I will reread it to enjoy it a second time, and will almost always catch more of your meaning and poetic talent by doing that.

8. I will make notes of poems I think are excellent and will revisit your blog to reread them, just as one loves a song and listens to it or sings it over and over again.

P.S. I hope you will give others the same support that I pledge to you.

Dennis Lange, the bard on the hill

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Haiku

                                                        Haiku

     Haiku is a Japanese form of poetry consisting of seventeen “syllables” (“on” or morae)  contained in three phrases (three lines in English).  The first line has five syllables; the second has seven; the third line has five.  However, to write a poem with only those characteristics is not enough to have written a traditional haiku.
     Japanese haiku are about nature and each has a reference to a season, called a kigo, alerting the reader to the season of the year that is the subject of the haiku.  In addition, a turn or cutting sets off a juxtaposition of ideas, separating one from the other.  Another trademark of traditional haiku is the “haiku moment”, stressing a moment in the present.  Thus, present tense verbs are used.  
     Modern Japanese haiku do not necessarily have all the characteristics of traditional haiku.  Free-form haiku, for example, may omit the kigo.  Also, some Japanese poets today write their haiku on subjects other than nature.
     English language haiku differ, by necessity, even more from traditional Japanese haiku.  English syllables are not the same as “on” or morae.  Since syllables in English are longer, some suggest that 3-5-3 is a better English language equivalent than 5-7-5.  Others even write haiku of 2-3-2.    
     One of the greatest writers of haiku was Matsuo Basho, who was born about 1644 and died in 1694.  The following is one of his haiku, “A Caterpillar”, translated by Robert Hass.

                                                 A caterpillar,
                                              this deep in fall–
                                            still not a butterfly.

      The translator chose not to stay with the 5-7-5 format.  Notice that fall is mentioned, the kigo of the haiku.  The haiku speaks of a present moment in time about a caterpillar that is still a caterpillar into fall, the wrong season.  The cutting occurs at the end of the second line, marked in this English version by the hyphen.  The two ideas, caterpillar and butterfly, are thus separated.  
      Haiku has become a popular form of poetry, perhaps because of its simplicity and brevity.  In the classroom, for example, a haiku writing assignment won’t use as much class time as longer poems.  And, as haiku has grown in popularity, its form and subjects have become more diverse, straying from traditional Japanese haiku.  Often, just as in the movie, something is “Lost in Translation”.

Resources:
(1) William Harmon and Hugh Holman, “A Handbook to Literature” (Prentice 
       Hall, Upper Saddle River, New Jersey, 1996).
(2) http://www.brooksbookshaiku.com/batz/whatishaiku.html, Lee Gurga,
       “Fresh Scent” (Brooks Books, 1998)
(3)
http://teachnet lab.org/miami/2002/rsampedro/what_is_haiku_poetry.htm
(4) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haiku

© Dennis Lange and thebardonthehill.wordpress.com, 2011.

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Discussion: What is it that makes poetry poetry?

     What is it that makes poetry poetry?  What are the elements that distinguish poetry from prose?  I would start with these: rhyme, rhythm, alliteration (http://thebardonthehill.wordpress.com/2011/05/20/alliteration-by-dennis-lange-2/), metaphor, simile, personification, and form (stanza and line).  I can think of something else, but I can’t quite word it.  Perhaps someone will come along and say it succinctly and add to the list as well.  I’m looking forward to your comments.

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