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Archive for the ‘Limericks’ Category

Iran

Iran, are your brains even there?
Did you seize two ships on a dare?
We’d blow you away
Like wind blows the spray
Except that behind’s you a bear.

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© Dennis Allen Lange, 2019.

 

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washington delaware

Of vaccinate, Washington said, “No!”
Emphatic he was. “Out you go
If as soldiers you do,
Then as soldiers you’re through!”
But he changed his mind, ending woe.

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Vaccination was primitive in Washington’s time. Pus from
a smallpox victim was put into a wound to inoculate
another, giving them (for the most part) a slight case of
smallpox and immunity, though a few even died.  When
Washington changed his mind and had his army inoculated,
the death rate in his army associated with smallpox went
from 160 out of 1000 to 3 of 1000.

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© Dennis Allen Lange, 2019.

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falling

A bump on the head caused confusion,
An inner and outer contusion.
The outer was minor,
Not more than a shiner.
The inner brought life to conclusion.

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We worry about broken bones from falls and the bruises we can
see, but it is what we cannot see that may prove to be the worst.

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© Dennis Allen Lange, 2019.

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Los Angeles Lakers v Boston Celtics

His height made him great ’round the basket.
But sadly, poor Wilt blew a gasket.
Dismayed by his death,
We all held our breath –
Would Chamberlain fit in a casket?

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© Dennis Allen Lange, 2019.

 

 

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yankee clipper

Ho! Mate! If you’re needing a shipper
From hither to yon like a zipper,
Look no further than me,
Nor hither to see.
I’m captain of yon Yankee clipper.

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© Dennis Allen Lange, 2019.

 

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devil


For answers we search and we prod
Why murderers kill on this sod.
But one thing we know:
Their list will not show
A single one faithful to God.

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© Dennis Allen Lange, 2019.

 

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Lincoln inaugural

It looked dim for Lincoln’s election
To second term till changed complexion.
Sheridan o’er Early won;
Atlanta burned till it was done.
The army assured Abe’s selection.

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© Dennis Allen Lange, 2019.

 

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n6zjt9Y


Some Britons have lost all their senses

In saying that lads may have menses.
For the sake of the sane
And those with a brain,
Keep fools far away with good fences.

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https://www.breitbart.com/europe/2018/12/16/schools-eight-year-olds-boys-periods/?utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook&fbclid=IwAR0ZChSkw3PmcvdLGnJDWwm46bjoCHnk_LwgUMQ6bWWhgyRxSXBmf6YUAXs

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photo by Jo Spargo at http://www.rgbstock.com/photo/n6zjt9Y/Silverton+2

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© Dennis Allen Lange, 2019.

 

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2dyVpde

The headline drips blood and is gory;
Alarmingly tells of lost glory.
Read deeper, you’ll find
‘Twas merely a line.
The title ne’er matches the story.

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photo by Dez Pain at http://www.rgbstock.com/photo/2dyVpde/News+Headlines

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© Dennis Allen Lange, 2019.

 

 

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nf084vq

Each dressed in a tux for a wedding,
Not sure where they’re walking or heading.
Said one to the other,
“Don’t know ‘bout you brother,”
But here in this tux I am sweating.”

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photo by Nicolas Raymond at
http://www.rgbstock.com/photo/nF084VQ/African+Penguins

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* The haiku I write are lines of 3-5-3 syllables instead of 5-7-5.

See Haiku article here for explanation, if needed: https://thebardonthehill.wordpress.com/2011/08/08/haiku/
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© Dennis Allen Lange and thebardonthehill.wordpress.com, 2019.

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