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Posts Tagged ‘humor’

engine light

My engine light is on; I groan.
What could the matter be?
Will I be like the mariner,
Left stranded in the sea?

Will noises from my car be next –
A rattle and a knock?
Is there a crack developing
In my car’s engine block?

The engine light stares/glares at me
As I drive down the road.
Is trouble ticking like a bomb
To in my face explode?

Whew! Safely home, the light still on,
Mechanic I will see
To diagnose my awful plight
And its severity.

I’m fin’lly told, when I have been
By worry driven mad,
The engine light was telling me
The engine light was bad.

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© Dennis Allen Lange, 2019.

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mlkx9ey

Some humor is not quite as funny.
It’s salty, not sweet as pure honey.
It’s whimsy and wit,
And some laugh a bit
For they find this humor is punny.

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photo by Billy Frank Alexander at
http://www.rgbstock.com/photo/mlKx9Ey/Monkey

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© Dennis Allen Lange and thebardonthehill.wordpress.com, 2017.

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I tell you this story, my mouth pursed, a pucker,
That all of the blame can be placed on a trucker.
For whatever the reason,
It wasn’t the season,
And eighteen big wheels just ran over the clucker.


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© Dennis Lange and thebardonthehill.wordpress.com, 2016.

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Heroic couplets that are short
(Of one foot each do I abort)
Might bring the thought to some who see
That they (or I) are cowardly.


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© Dennis Lange and thebardonthehill.wordpress.com, 2015.

 

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……..Remote Controlled

By tv remote we’re controlling
When switching the channels and trolling.
We lose it; we’re cursed.
Control is reversed.
It wins and we’re way past consoling.

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© Dennis Lange and thebardonthehill.wordpress.com, 2015.

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……And Run You Out Of Town

You, stretch of Road, are misbehaving.
You’re like a naughty child –
The cracks and holes run wild.
It’s time to do some asphalt paving.

But Road, the next time you get weathered
Just letting yourself go –
We warn you so you’ll know –
You’ll find yourself both tarred and feathered.

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© Dennis Lange and thebardonthehill.wordpress.com, 2014.

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Celebrating National Everything Day

October took a toll on me in ev’ry way.
Each cause had its brief moment and each dog his day.
Columbus Day I celebrated, and a yea
I gave to Techies, teachers when they, too, held sway.
I feted bosses, elderly, the UN – they
Were easier than the mother-in-law hooray.
I feasted on dessert, bologna – drank frappe;
To feast still more – on nuts and eggs – a wide array:
On pumpkin cheesecake, pasta, and a mincemeat tray.
Before I golfed and babbled, took the time to weigh
And then, without a beard, I named my car Jose
And gave it to a hermit as his praise and his time’s pay.
But after lauding moles and navy, too, I’m gray,
And have decided that I’ll take a rest, gourmet,
My Personal I’m-Tired-Of-Celebrating-Day.

 

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http://holidayinsights.com/moreholidays/october.htm

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© Dennis Lange and thebardonthehill.wordpress.com, 2014.

 

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…………………………Allergies

I hab a liddle trouble wid my node and allergies;
I’m allergic do the grasses and de bollen ob de drees.
My throat will start do dickle and my node will start do run,
Den, coughing and a-wheezing, I’m nod habbing any fun.
I’m stobbed ub like de water in de back of Boulder Dam
But my node is flooding dissues like de sea floods Amsterdam.

It goes down in my donsils and id gurgles all around,
And oud my monkey boice comes and makes a fuddy sound.
So while I’m habbing trouble, de boor folks who hab do hear
Are habbing trouble also and deir trouble id sebere.
Bud as I wride my liddle poem, I dink of dose who read.
And wonder why my written words have also atrophied.

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© Dennis Lange and thebardonthehill.wordpress.com, 2014.

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………………….The Tryst

Potato was deep in the dark under ground,
Tomato, above in the light.
The little Tomato was ruddy and round,
The little Potato was white. 

And redder and redder she rounded above,
And paler and paler he grew,
And neither suspected a mutual love
Till they met in a Brunswick stew.

 

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…..The Endless Song

Oh, I used to sing a song,
An’ dey said it was too long,
So I cut it off de en’
To accommodate a frien’
…………………..Nex’ do’, nex’ do’-
To accommodate a frien’ nex’ do’. 

But it made de matter wuss
Dan it had been at de fus,
‘Ca’ze de en’ was gone, an’ den
Co’se it didn’t have no en’
…………………..Any mo’, any mo’ –
Oh, it didn’t have no en’ any mo’! 

So to save my frien’ from sinnin’,
I cut off de song’s beginnin’;
Still he cusses right along
While I sings about my song
…………………..Jes so, jes so –
While I sings about my song jes so. 

How to please ‘im is my riddle,
So I’ll fall back on my fiddle;
For I’d stan’ myself on en’
To accommodate a frien’
…………………..Nex’ do’, nex’ do –
To accommodate a frien’ nex’ do’.

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