Twinkie, Twinkie, golden bar,
Hostess brand has fallen far –
Bankruptcy, about to die;
If Twinkie follows, some will cry.
Twinkie, Twinkie, golden bar –
Will we wonder where you are?
Prim and proper cheer and shout;
They hope that you won’t be about;
Spoilsports decry your chemicals,
And say you aren’t nutritional.
Twinkie, Twinkie, golden bar –
Will we wonder where you are?
If no Twinkies, no defense
For men who eat them, lose their sense;
And those bad men will face their crime;
Go down death row or do their time.
Twinkie, Twinkie, golden bar –
Will we wonder where you are?
I had a Twinkie ere I sat
To write this poem – look where I’m at!
I did it on a sugar high;
Tis Twinkie’s fault, not I. Not I!
Twinkie, Twinkie, golden bar –
The bard has fallen very far.
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Photo by Evan-Amos
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Third stanza – The term “Twinkie Defense” originated from the trial of Dan White, who shot and killed San Francisco Mayor George Moscone and supervisor Harvey Milk. The widespread misconception is that the defense argued that White’s consumption of Twinkie’s affected his judgment and he thus shouldn’t have been accountable for the murders. In reality, a defense witness testified that White’s consumption of Twinkies was evidence of depression, the grounds for a diminished capacity plea. White was convicted of voluntary manslaughter, not murder. See: http://www.snopes.com/legal/twinkie.asp
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© Dennis Lange and thebardonthehill.wordpress.com, 2012.
The Bard on the Hill 